Former US President, George Bush, converts to Islam

In a press conference today, former US president George W Bush announced to the world that he has decided to convert to the Islamic faith. This amazing conversion story has shocked both the global Muslim community and the American public. Bush appeared before the media, along side his long time friend and confidante Shaikh Hamza Yusuf, to tell of his conversion and to answer any questions from those in attendance. 

Describing how he felt after he had embraced the faith, Bush said, 

"Well, in the words of the great James Brown, I feel good. Like I knew that I would. I feel good. So good. So good. I got you Allah." 

The former commander and chief continued, 

"After takin' my shay-hay-day, I feel such a sense of relief, such a sense of calm. Like the calm after the storm when the rescue teams come. Like the calm after Katrina, y'all know what I mean?" 

A reflective Bush continued to tell of his long time affection for Islam, 

"I always said, even while I occupied my office and Iraq, that Islam was a religion of peace, and I really meant that. I know I lied about other things, but that was one of the true ones. Y'all are so nice, an' welcoming. Almost like a whole religion of Texans. It really changed my life when I found out white people could be Muzlums too. Its like I learned somethin' or somethin'. Its hard to express what I'm feelin' in words y'all will understand. Knocked my socks off, tell ya what. Knocked 'em clean off. Its like someone just came in and turned all the lights on. I was in complete darkness pretty much before, but now I feel pretty happy. I feel fresh like a new born baby boy." 

When asked if it was his own self studying of the religion that had brought him to his decision, Bush stated, 

"Well to be honest, not really, not really no. I mean, I have been a friend for a long time with my buddy Hamza here," the former president said as he slapped Shaikh Hamza Yusuf on the knee in a jovial manner. 

Speaking of his long time mentor, Bush said, 

"I give a lot of credit to Shaikh Hamza, or Hammy as I like to call him. Hammy an' me go way back, and he's helped me a lot you know, teachin' me the basics of the deeni-oolla. How's my teej-wad Hammy?"